The present–now–can be a challenge to focus on for everyone.
Think of how much time we spend on past events: dissecting our behavior, others’ behavior, an event. We’re like history detectives except we often presume our own guilt without a preponderance of evidence. In other words, our rear-view looking is often biased against us.
Future looking is often loaded with worry. It’s as if we’re striking constantly at a piñata filled with spiders. We should stop before we let them loose.
The only real time is Now. If we are not in an abusive situation, our Now is probably safe. Look around your Now: hear safe sounds (we hear cardinals calling), see safe things in your room and outside your window, taste your favorite hot or cold beverage and savor it, touch your favorite keepsake or trinket while knowing you do so Now.
We read a lot about how to be in the Now. For dissociators, being Now is perhaps life’s greatest challenge. Here are some facts on time:
Everything happens in a Now. The past is how we remember a prior Now. It is no longer happening. We are remembering in the Now.
The future is a fantasy that will never occur. That isn’t to say we can’t set and achieve a goal. It’s to say that no matter how detailed our future fantasy, it will never fully match the Now as it unfolds.
Choose to occupy the safe Now.
When our brains don’t want to lead, feed them data from our senses and know that is occurring in the infinite unfolding of Now.
If we are not safe in a Now, make safety the priority.
As with every skill, being Now takes practice. Let’s be gentle with ourselves as we practice. Practice Now.