Right now we want so many things to be different in our life. Do you ever feel like this? All at once you desperately need new truths.
We want to go back in time and be better parents, we want to go farther back–to the traumas–and warn us.
We want to be the best parent ever right now. We want to be healed from our trauma right now!
And none of this can happen now.
So do we give up? Is it hopeless?
We do not give up. We never give up. Hopelessness is a fiction about a future that hasn’t happened.
So how do we channel the good intentions away from frustration, regret, and worry?
Do something positively productive.
Make art that reflects the beauty to which you aspire: color with crayons, markers, pencils, or a pen; cut images and words from magazines or junk mail to create a fun collage; go gather some rocks, leaves, dandelions and study their creation; write a free-verse poem (you don’t need to rhyme); write a letter/email/text of appreciation to yourself, your partner(s), children, parents, your hero, your therapist/doctor, teacher.
Volunteer. Serve meals to the homeless at a mission; donate clothes you don’t wear anymore; participate in citizen science projects; help a neighbor with yard care; throw a holiday party at a kids shelter or children’s hospital; usher at the local school’s play, choir; band concert.
Set realistic goals. List what you’d like to accomplish and steps needed to get there. What do you want to do differently as a parent/spouse/student/employee? What actions are required? When can you start? And at what milestones will you celebrate?
When the urge to improve strikes like lightning, make electricity!