A somatic therapist with decades of experience encouraged me two years ago to replace “but” with “and” when I spoke to her, because so many things can be true at once.
I was using “but” to refute, negate, and isolate myself.
Once I started trying to replace “but” with “and,” I noticed how reliant my rhetorical structure was on negation, refutation, and isolation.
Now, nearly every time I am about to write the word “but,” I try to replace it with “and.” So many things are true at once. I try not to fall on my “but.”
Try noticing in your reading and writing how often you see “but.” What happens to our communication if we become “and” people? What do we gain? What do we relinquish?