“To strip yourself of pretense is to overthrow a hard master, the fear of giving yourself away”
–Tobias Wolff Old School
No routine right now. Summer brings children and spouse co-occupying this house.
We are lucky to have spouse, to have children, to have a home, to have therapists invested in our healing.
We are trying to find a space alone. We need some alone-time just as we need hugs and love.
We can assert boundaries. Nicely. During the day.
Late afternoons, we lose sense of cohesion, lose traction, tangibility. Losing it now, for example.
Soon we’ll be alone. Meditation would be a wise practice. Too much energy? Rest then.
Don’t pretend all is well. You are struggling. Don’t pretend all is lost: this is not the end.
Give yourself away. Let it be known that you are complex. It’s not easy to describe. This fragmentation. This shame. This longing to be taken care of. Try to be the caregiver when alone.
Need us. Take care. Be grateful.
Give it all away. We are complex and hurting. And alive. And watering new seeds.
We DID It 
Love this. Being alone is essential healing practice for us a lot of times. We couldn’t cope very well with people, places, things bombarding our usually peaceful place. The constant commotion and seemingly chaotic noises all up in our silent spaces would put us on edge. Meditation is good. Taking care of yous is really good. Maybe when yous need some private space alone, you can put up a “do not disturb” sign on the basement door or bedroom door, or somewhere you decide can be yours alone for the summer. IDK, take care of your littles, and bigs.
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It’s hard to stand up for privacy when we’re feeling low. We just want invisibility then. Still, we’ll try 💕. Thank you, friend
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