One of our therapists said the “middle way” is felt, not thought. You can’t rationalize your way there. You have to dwell in the land of feelings to know.
We acted out of accordance with our values. Spouse called it a choice. That may or may not be accurate. She views it as a choice. We see it as a reaction.
We want to learn to respond instead. Be present. Be a still pool watching feelings and sensations coming to drink. And then make a choice.
We will apologize to the person we were mean to. And then thanks spouse for the opportunity by telling us what spouse saw. Those are choices and are in accordance with our values.
Living with our actions and doing our best is as close as we can get right now to the “middle way.” We will keep practicing. We can’t think our way to it. Mindfulness and wisdom surely require feelings and sensations. That will require practice.
It’s not all-or-none. We don’t need to judge us. We don’t need to ruminate. We are going to choose.
