Not valid trauma?

Triggered enough to start thinking about in-patient hospital. We will try to avoid that. Not just because it’s inconvenient or because it leaves Spouse and Children in the lurch. Or because it’s scary and you have to share one public toilet—though all of this, yes. For sure.

We don’t want to be this vulnerable. If one text from Birthing Parent can disrupt life enough to need hospitalization, how can we be safe?

Set boundaries? Wait for parents to die? Move? Cut ties?

Who has the energy for this? It’s exhausting.

And outside Children have needs from us as parent. And our tooth broke. And we’re shrinking into small unholiness.

Our parent texted and asked why we can’t let it go. Let go of the abuse.

We don’t have the energy or investment to help this person. Literally google what not to say to trauma survivor, and this is first.

We will lose a week or more on this. We’re so lost inside. People are not cooperating. There is division, wounding, isolation.

We hope therapy will be effective. We will try to be open. We are many emotions: angry, hurt, frustrated, not seen, misunderstood, powerless. We have choices for some of these.

Our needs are to be nurtured and safe. We feel less resourced to challenge the thoughts and emotions that are judgments and secondary.

We would appreciate gentle words. If you have words, please allow them to be gentle to everyone involved. We need love, not blame or belittling of parent. Thanks

12 thoughts on “Not valid trauma?

  1. The text from Birthing Parent represents their own journey to reconcile themselves with what happened. Their journey is not yours. It’s okay to feel all of the emotions that each of you is feeling – each and every one of them is valid, but none of them define you. All of you deserve to be nurtured and safe. Sending hugs and love. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Okay. That makes sense. That Birthing Parent wants it over based on that parent’s journey. Hard to wrap our head around emotionally

      Hugs and love received. Tears of gratitude offered in response

      Liked by 1 person

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