Love gets confused. We forget how Older Child is related to us. Some of our me’s see Older Child as our parent, some see Older Child as our sibling, some as our friend, some as our offspring
This awareness is itself startling and dispiriting. If we can notice and not judge, maybe we will have more options
This happens to a lesser extent with Spouse and an even lesser extent with Younger Child
Last evening, we could not recognize Spouse. Whose face is that, we wondered
We are married?
Then we feel very scared, alone, and ashamed
We are trying to be quieter, to take up less space, lest we commit an egregious boundary violation and create more shame
T-1 won’t see us in person. We tried so many ideas. T-1 just has so many objections/barriers. So we will not have therapy this week. This is the first time in 5.5 years we have canceled on T-1 because we do not want to work with T-1. We are grieving the relationship
After negotiating, T-3 agreed that we can park our cars next to each other and hold therapy on the phone while we look at each other. It was the only way we can conceive to attempt to get our needs met for connection. We give T-3 much gratitude for trying to work with us
We are so nervous that we feel sick. So much wants to come out so that we can get pent up therapy needs met
Do you have any other ideas for creative ways to get therapy other than video?
We are trying to find out if Spouse can meet some of our needs for connection. We are trying Nonviolent Communication and patience in our talking with Spouse