Rewiring a brain: 16.5

We see some of our thought patterns, we think.

We think that the content may change and the thought patterns persist. In other words, we could complain about missing T-1, that Ts in general are harder to get help from, that a Child or Spouse is or is not doing X or Y.

It is all just content that we are running through the same sausage grinder in our head. We make the same shit out of different circumstances.

Is this what they mean by how the brain is “wired”? Rewiring it is not easy from our experience. T-1 would say that is a clue that something magical lies therein.

In some cases, the content of our thoughts and experiences probably does matter. After all, that is the “living” part of “being alive,” isn’t it?

It is our thought process that seems to render it all the same. Here is the visual (textually):

content content content content content content content content content content

\ /

\ /

thought patterns: thought distortions, OCD, competing voices (DID), judgments, anxiety, emotions, senses producing data or not, intellectual thoughts, memories

\ /

core beliefs

So we run the content of our lives through similar thought patterns that are supported by our core beliefs about ourself and our world. The process seems like a test in which we always get the answer 16.5 no matter what the question is.

Younger Child is sad. What do we do? 16.5

T-3 has not contacted us in a week. What does this mean? 16.5

We need to cook dinner. What should we make? 16.5

Maybe we can stop asking the questions. That is encouraging judgment, anxiety, sausage, math. We are mixing our metaphors, which seems appropriate for making sausage. It makes sense to want to make sense of life’s experiences. But our formative experiences included trauma, which is the shape in which all our sausage is formed.

If we could learn to accept content, would that be our new thought pattern? Do we need to alter our core beliefs first, since they supposedly inform our thought patterns? Or would altering our thought patterns influence our core beliefs? Or both?

The thought patterns are feeling toxic enough right now to be a rather consistent 8/10 with flares to 9. We are so reliant upon external factors to dial this down that we know we need changes. These thought habits are very persistent.

We will accept that. That is why they are patterns. That is how our brain trained to fire. We will just keep trying to retrain us to accept, accept, accept.

Do you have ideas about how this brain stuff works?

16 thoughts on “Rewiring a brain: 16.5

  1. A cognitive behaviour approach might look at evaluating thoughts and core beliefs and looking at evidence for and against them. An acceptance and commitment therapy approach would view thoughts as transient experiences that come and go, and the therapy work would focus on how one relates to those thoughts, and how much importance they merit. There’s no right direction to approach any of this from; it’s all about what’s a good fit for you.

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    1. Thank you for explaining those two options and letting us know it’s about what’s a good fit

      We don’t know what approach the new T uses. We did ask the clinic for acceptance-commitment because we wanted to try it. When they said who would be a good fit for us, we just said yes. We didn’t want to jinx it or ask for too much, so we’ll be excited to find out

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  2. Both changing thoughts and going to core beliefs change. Thought patterns can be changed even without core beliefs changing however core beliefs can and should change too.
    At the moment I’ve been listening a lot to Louise Hay, and trying to reframe my thoughts. Instead of I hate myself or I’m guilty or a failure, name what I’m upset with myself about. I don’t know if it will or won’t help. We will find out… 💕💕💕

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    1. Louise Hay. We will look it up on the interwebs. For us, It is hard to be skillful during stress times. How about for yous? We want to use love as a lens because then we might not judge or be mean to us🐬💕❤️

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      1. When freaking out I have to wait for it to pass. At those times it’s too intense, or I’ve tuned out so there’s nothing to be skillful with. It’s the rest of the time. In the mostly normal moments.

        I liked what you said about pausing before reacting, it’s something I try to do when I remember.

        I’m hoping that changing it during the normal times changes it the rest of the time. I’m not sure if it works like that. But maybe it stops it getting to the stress. Like if you dial back from a 4 to a 3 you won’t get to 5 but 4.

        I’m not sure if my thoughts come across clearly or as a jumbled mess…!

        You deserve love and kindness 🐦🐬💕

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        1. We think we have to practice when not in distress in order to use skills when in distress. We do think if we are at a 3, we won’t get to 9. But if we’re at 7, we will get to 9.

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  3. I wish I had answers. My T says I focus a lot on content too, and she’s good at spotting the patterns. But the content is important to me still… I feel like I want some of the content to be heard, be they big or small, because I lacked it so much while growing up.

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