Love as a guide during civil unrest

A message today to our neighbors, near and online:

Some People feel unequal and some are resorting to violence. These are two separate things.

We acknowledge feelings of inequality.

Remember: Hatred never ends hatred but by love alone is healed. Gandhi learned it, Mandela learned it, MLK learned it.

Peace alone doesn’t necessarily increase people’s understanding, acceptance, or caring of other people.

“Winning” is not a measurable goal in societal equality. Bank accounts are not always an accurate measure of who feels safe.

Caring that people in our community feel like they are persecuted and unequal is an opportunity for all of us to listen. That is a gift to one another.

We can choose if we want to take action. Our yard sign doesn’t do much, we realize, except to say that Younger Child wants to do something, anything

We would like to see police departments prioritize Nonviolent Communication to deescalate situations. The processes exist. It can be taught, learned, practiced. Schools could use it, citizens could use it, places of worship could use it. It is very hard to do but it feels full of potential to help people connect at the needs level

We do really love our neighbors. That is why we are trying. We feel uncomfortable trying to guide when we are unskilled, lacking in confidence, and scared

We have registered for a year long, global Compassion Course through New York’s Center for Nonviolent Communication. Fees are “sliding scale” and scholarships are available. You can pay it forward, too, if you are able and willing. It costs less than $1.50/week (USD) at full tuition for a full year. Starts in late June.

Also see for general information about Nonviolent Communication.

May we try to let Love lead

16 thoughts on “Love as a guide during civil unrest

  1. It is so sad to see what is happening right now. I feel like in some ways culture is forcing violent reactions because non-violent protests and demands have been ignored for far too long, or even shamed. As JFK said, “Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.”

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Wow. What a powerful quote.

      We are following news secondhand via Spouse because we are scared of violence and curfew and need a protective filter. We are under stress. So please forgive/correct our errors:

      We think we heard that everyone arrested overnight in our community was from out of state.

      We think we heard a coroner attribute a violent death at least in part to a victim’s underlying health conditions.

      Is the information accurate?
      Whose interests are served by those reports?
      Is revealing the victim’s underlying health conditions different from revealing what we were wearing at the time we were raped or releasing our sexual history up until (and after) the rape?

      These might be factually accurate statements, but whose interests do they serve? What do they imply? How is that information used? And why?

      We are not savvy enough to know the answers, but the questions show our concern that the systems, processes, and institutions are neither free of bias nor exist to serve or protect non-white males. Is this even a radical topic anymore? It’s 2020.

      We hope you can feel connected to the love of acceptance


      1. I’m honestly not even sure what is going on. I’ve heard so many different stories, conspiracy theories, etc., plus I’m not near the areas where it is all going down, but I support any who want to fix the broken system and want peace and equality. I don’t support violence, but I do understand how things can become violent when justice is again and again denied.

        Liked by 2 people

        1. When we read your writing here and on your own blog’s comments, we feel pretty calm. Maybe we interpret your comments as candid, authentic, and not themselves violent or judgmental. We really appreciate what you have to say and how you say it

          Liked by 1 person

      1. Tired but good – just came home from a reservoir which we walked around, and which I ran for a bit around. So proud that I’m up to week 6 of couch to 5k and the peacefulness and trees and grass and water was just really good… peaceful.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. It would be awesome if police practiced nonviolent communication!

    Thank you so much for continuing to emphasize compassion as a way to solve conflicts instead of violence. It makes me feel more hopeful for the world. And I keep reminding myself of compassion, too, when I get upset. (compassion for myself or my family, generally) It helps. Thank you 💕

    Liked by 1 person

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