COVID-19 pandemic is not over in our house. We are still social distancing. Some people act like it is over, and we do not want to judge a view as right or wrong.
We walked with Spouse this weekend and saw elementary school kids playing organized American football—close contact among players, coaches, and parents with few or no masks.
We walked by another park: same child football games, plus youth softball tournament and youth soccer games. Hundreds congregating.
To them, the pandemic is over. COVID is not their threat. We will not judge them. We won’t judge you if you judge them. Spouse judges them.
Yes, the adults may wind up responsible for their children’s infection or the unwitting spreading of the illness to others. Still, we won’t tell them they are wrong.
The law lets them do it. Many people consider the law the arbiter of right and wrong. Holy books provide moral guidance, too, for some people. From where do you derive your sense of right and wrong?
We are practicing to operate outside the paradigm of right and wrong. In a war, both sides think they are right. Same with many disputes. Right and wrong are not real to us. Not truths. They are relative.
We believe People are all operating in service of their needs. Every action is an attempt to meet a need whether we know it or not.
Many justify their actions with right and wrong, with judgments. We think it is all a great distraction and contributor to suffering.
Those for whom the pandemic is over may want to feel safe, and going about their normal routines may provide that sense of safety. But does it actually provide safety (vs perceived safety)?
Judging them as wrong or bad may make people concerned about health and wellness feel superior. They also have a need to feel safe and seeing people acting in ways that health experts say will spread the illness does not contribute to their safety. Does judging the congregators as wrong actually makes the judgers safer?
So we may act in service if our needs but not always in ways that actually made our needs. Being aware of our needs—especially those that are unmet or threatened by other’s actions—can help us develop choices for how wet might try to meet our needs, is doing so is possible.
T-1 Dodd’s not want to meet our need for connection and nurturing by meeting in cars for therapy. T-1’s safety needs felt at risk from meeting with us, as did T-1’s need for order. So we stopped meeting with T-1. T-2 is currently meeting our therapy needs.
Leaving T-1 is still causing sadness, grieving, longing. Time does help.
We don’t need all people to see the world as we do. We are not right. We are just one body (with many me’s) trying to find our way to less suffering. Our experiences have led us to Now, and we recognize your experiences have done likewise.
Whereas relinquishing right/wrong, good/bad dichotomies from our paradigm is liberating for us, to you it might be a prison. Or it might be liberating. Or just meh.
Still, it can get challenging living in a house, community, country, civilization very much aligned with judgments of right/wrong and good/bad. Many opportunities to practice and question.
We try not to cling to hard to ideas because that creates suffering, too—thinking you’re fundamentally rightand the other side is wrong. These are our divisions: political, oppression, etc.
If we see everyone as a person trying to meet needs, then we are less likely to label—liberal, conservative, racist, unpatriotic, etc. These label make it easy to strip people—entire swaths of mother’s, fathers, children—of our common humanity.
We are all people. So simple and so hard to practice because our religions, education, media, communities judge. Please the teacher to earn a grade, don’t commit sin, have the perfect body or be ashamed…
We are trained to judge. No wonder it’s so easy! To even consider there is another way to view the world is itself a leap.
It is no magic pill. No panacea. For us, it helps us see more. Expand our choices.