All people do their best. Since we are people, we will hurt other people, succumb to base urges, like greed, and experience pain.
Rolling with life is a challenge for us. The pain we are experiencing is acute, and we have so many voices in our head! Crying Littles. Judgments. Advice for how to act. So many feelings and regrets and time confusion.
We keep trying to get new therapists, hospitals. We keep hearing NO.
Are you meeting in person?
NO
Are you taking new clients?
NO
We have thought about self-immolation to get health care’s attention for other people who must also be suffering.
We had a dangerous driving experience on the highway. We got aggressive and narrowly avoided a high-speed crash. We told Spouse, who took away our driving privileges temporarily. We know nurturing us was the intent, and it did not meet our needs for Autonomy and choice and respect.
We said so.
We are driving again. Trying to be safer. It snowed a lot, so the roads got dangerous. We seemed to be safer. It’s dangerous when Littles drive. It is also scary to act unilaterally—like take away our keys, like ending our therapeutic relationship. T-1 told Littles they care for T-1 inappropriately.
That is causing pain.
Younger Child is suffering. We would prefer Younger Child went in-patient for more intensive care. Get better faster. Less conflict with us.
We do not feel skillful. We get criticized a lot. By other me’s mostly. Blamed for things. We’d rather not be here. So maybe we will have to go in-patient. Few options left.
Sending hugs and lots of love to all, especially Littles who need it. ❤️❤️❤️
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💕💕💕😢
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I will give intention for you when I meditate
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We recently had a driving issue. Was really switchy and had a little driving and hit another car. No one was hurt but now we have to deal with insurance. 🙁
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Ugh, double hassle for you. Did someone take your keys away?
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No. I live in a rural area and drive an hour to work. It’s not possible for me not to drive. I’d prefer not to. It makes me nervous.
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That does sound unnerving. There are more than 3 million people in our metro area, so lots of traffic noise, helicopters, airplanes, sirens, fireworks, etc. Is it quieter where you are? Or is there a hunting season with gunshots?
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It’s quieter here. The hunting is further into the woods. I prefer the quiet of the area, even if it means I have to drive.
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Sending lotsa love
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❤️💕love you
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Sending you all good thoughts. It’s hard to work to get the proper help, especially now. Please don’t give up.
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Sent our requests to 4 therapists/clinics/hospitals this week. 2 “no” so far. 0 yes
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Are there any additional social services that have started in your town because of Covid? Our health department has added extra counselors and offers more assistance now. Maybe they can direct you?
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We’ll look. Thanks.
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All the hugs to yous and the Littles. Loving a therapist is not “inapporpriate”…it’s Littles wanting a parental figure.
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Exactly. And T-1 cultivated that. Until it was not convenient. Then it became inappropriate to T-1 and we are left with no parent 😭
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Hugs hugs. That failing is on T1, not any of yous especially the Littles. Hugs. Any therapist working with CPTSD/DID needs to be a reliable secure base, not someone who is unreliable. This kind of work isn’t “convenient”, you all deserve better and I am sending all the hugs.
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Thanks 🙏 💕💕💕
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