Electrifried brain: meds

Have brain zaps. Am so hypervigilant that doors opening and closing in our house are sending us up a wall. Tried to nap. No luck.

It might be Xanax withdrawal. We are poor at tapering meds. We have apparently been on it too long. Years. Dangerous.

New meds still has us sleepy. Not as much. And it’s still not helping with sleep.

We are pretty low. Feeling some cumulative stress. Hopelessness.

T-3 agreed to meet us for car therapy and then forgot 😭. T-3 facetimed us for the appointment instead and asked why we were in our car. We said why and T-3 drove to see us.

So can we focus on the outcome instead of the forgetting? We miss T-1 and wonder if we’ll ever hear from T-1 again. Will we be okay? Today, we had an issue arise that only T-1 knows about. T-3 asked us to share. We would not. Why relive the trauma? T-3 wanted to process it together. Too weak to do it.

May go birdwatching tomorrow, so we will look forward to that. We took a 1/2 Xanax. That is calming us. Taper!

We are close to finishing Speak Peace and will post more about how to use needs-focused communication to foster social change if we get a handle on flashbacks and depression symptoms this week

9 thoughts on “Electrifried brain: meds

    1. Thanks!! We did!! Older Child drove us an hour away for wonderful birds. We saw a tall grass prairie and a lake. Bird of the day was hearing a Yellow-billed Cuckoo. And the baby Pheasants with their mom and dad—so cute! A bald eagle tried to eat baby Wood Ducks but failed

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I’m sorry you’re not feeling well. 😦 That’s so annoying that T-3 forgot about the car therapy! Though it’s nice that she drove to meet you. I can relate to missing a therapist and not wanting to re-share something very personal and hard to share that you’ve already shared. It takes lots of time to build trust with each person.

    My mom and I have been trying to learn what birds make the calls we hear all the time, and I thought of you. 🙂

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    1. Trust is a challenge. We have to trust—our act as though we do. If we are not vulnerable, how can we heal? All people make mistakes, which means we keep getting hurt, and we collect those hurts as proof of our rottenness. This is not self-compassionate. We want to accept people as they are, including us. We will keep trying. We appreciate that you take the time to hear us and respond. This meets our needs to have a voice.

      We want to keep young people safe. That is one of our goals. Every connection we make fuels us to keep trying to heal us and our world


      1. Yeah it’s hard when people make mistakes that hurt. My dad makes a lot of mistakes (maybe because of his brain injury, but I don’t know), and they keep hurting, even though he doesn’t intend any harm. Acceptance is hard…

        ❤️ I appreciate your responses, too ❤

        Liked by 1 person

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