The past is context. Now is now.

When we feel sad and lonely and depressed, we often blame ourself and want to escape (avoid, dissociate).

We feel this way upon waking up. If we contextual it—we’ve experienced trauma—then we hope that context removes blame and creates understanding.

One barrier is that it’s hard to stop there. When we’re triggered, we often flash right to trauma. We are there. It is 1979 or whenever.

Then we go from empty, lonely, barren to overload, hopeless, helpless, chaotic. As T says, “in a millisecond.”

We don’t have titration skills right now, can’t move along the continuum. We get blindsided and immersed and become ineffective.

Maybe we need to learn to sit with the depression emotions and have empathy and understanding for how that feels now. That would help with presence. We worry it would exclude Littles. It’s easy to want them to be in the now, but making the ability to be present a prerequisite for being seen and heard puts a big burden on Littles who have already survived awful experiences.

So we feel a bit stuck. We will persist in trying to name emotions and find the associated needs in order to meet unmet needs. Not sure if this will address the titration situation.

4 thoughts on “The past is context. Now is now.

  1. I like this way of expressing it, “titration situation.” I too dislike the dramatic emotional jump PTSD forces on us.
    You write, “Maybe we need to learn to sit with the depression emotions and have empathy and understanding for how that feels now:” This is so true, and so accurate. And so hard 💖 Sending gentleness.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m just catching up on this now. Here’s a thought, which may not be useful at all, but I’ll put it out there anyway. Smells are processed by the olfactory bulb in the brain, which is physically close to and closely wired to the amygdala alarm centre. I wonder if there’s something that would smell nice to the littles that could be used to support staying present and making that presence just a little bit easier.

    Liked by 1 person

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