When we feel sad and lonely and depressed, we often blame ourself and want to escape (avoid, dissociate).
We feel this way upon waking up. If we contextual it—we’ve experienced trauma—then we hope that context removes blame and creates understanding.
One barrier is that it’s hard to stop there. When we’re triggered, we often flash right to trauma. We are there. It is 1979 or whenever.
Then we go from empty, lonely, barren to overload, hopeless, helpless, chaotic. As T says, “in a millisecond.”
We don’t have titration skills right now, can’t move along the continuum. We get blindsided and immersed and become ineffective.
Maybe we need to learn to sit with the depression emotions and have empathy and understanding for how that feels now. That would help with presence. We worry it would exclude Littles. It’s easy to want them to be in the now, but making the ability to be present a prerequisite for being seen and heard puts a big burden on Littles who have already survived awful experiences.
So we feel a bit stuck. We will persist in trying to name emotions and find the associated needs in order to meet unmet needs. Not sure if this will address the titration situation.