Soft voice, nice words

The traumas themselves are over, and the Punishing part of our mind is making us travel through time and space. We are young, we are scared, we are victims, they are coming to get us. Sick feeling in tummy. Dizzy feeling in head.

When we try to remind us of the year, we say, “It’s 19xx. No, it’s 2019.” We are in our 40s. These are just words. It doesn’t feel like it. And our therapist would say that some people inside know we’re older now. They have memories from after the bad stuff.

It’s okay to be confused. It’s okay to have PTSD. DID. OCD. Every time we try to take big steps forward, Punisher remembers how risky change can be. This is to be expected for us. Therapist was prepared for it.

Today was a crying day. Therapist was ready with the soft voice and the nice words.

Thank you, Therapist!

Spouse called home and the tears came out. Spouse was ready with the soft voice and the nice words. “I’ll be right home.”

And then, “C’mon. Let’s go out shopping. We’ll buy you some new shoes. It’s good to get out.”

What if we get sad?

“Then we’ll go take time to be sad. It’s no problem.”

Spouse is like gold. The “X” where the treasure is located. Spouse is new shoes and holding hands and not worrying for 10 minutes. Spouse is our one true love.

We love you, Spouse!

three unpaired multicolored leather sneakers on display
Photo by Adrian Dorobantu on

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